Japonese Gardens, Tigre and Ice Cream

The last few days whizzed by. Day trip to Tigre, the parks of Palermo (Japanese Gardens et al), and the odd ice-cream. The ice cream here is seriously tasty. Mum didn't quite believe me the first time i pointed out 15 scooters and said they were for ice-cream delivery!

Farewell dinner in Cabaña Las Lilas - the "best steak" in town. A winelist of encyclopaedic proportions and some amazingly tender steak.

Bags packed with new leather shoes, bag, jacket and assorted presents. I delivered her safely in to the arms of United Airlines. Chau J xx

Apparently i'm a good personal shopper, not a bad tour guide and translator, and a bloody useless body-guard.

The Godfather

Our four days were up and we returned to Buenos Aires. Mum said it was nice to be home when we reached the flat. Nice. Surely that implies a sense of well being and comfort? I hope so. The US Masters Golf was just starting, time to get couched.

The next day after a usual coffee, walk, lunch scenario mum decided to go for a stroll. I stayed in for the golf. She returned about an hour later. How was it? Well good up until some git ran up and grabbed her necklace and legged it.

Lessons - never wear jewellery in Bs As, never walk down quiet streets and try not to get unlucky - somethings are unavoidable. A lesson we learnt later is that if you fancy doing a spot of insurance fraud this is as good a place as any.

However, she wasn't hurt, it wasn't an heirloom and it was covered by insurance. Police station here we come. Buenos Aires has one for tourists and thankfully it was only a few blocks away.

Three policeman are lounging about, the head guy is behind a desk. Mum explains what happened: a man mugged her on Diagonal Norte; they start ring police stations. The head honcho informs us that we should say it took place on Maipu. This means we can go to a station 2 blocks away that has no queue. Okay, whatever. There's a TV on in the corner. "The Godfather". Great film i say, the cop's watched it "over 300 times", seems to fit in with his attitude to crime. Try to leave without laughing.

Walk to the other station. No English speaker about so they ring the tourist office and one of the guys we'd seen there ambles over 5 minutes later. He then proceeds to type furiously at the computer for ages. He asks mum 2 questions - her age and passport number. 15 minutes later we have our police report, the crime has moved to Florida street, lots of elaborate details we never mentioned have been added and a bizarre discussion on whether faster or fastest is appropriate for his typing skills - but we have our crime number.

An extra bottle of wine that night, but all in all it could have been a lot worse. The picture is where the robbery happened, or was it Maipu or was it Florida?

Montevideo Day 3 - Mate

The only thing disturbing about Montevideo is Mate. A seriously disgusting herbal drink that everyone loves. Almost everyone is seen carrying a thermos of hot water, a mate cup and straw. They delight in all sharing the same straw, a ceremony known as
: The Ronda de Mates. A very effective way of passing on any lurgy you may have to all your "mates".

I have forgotten to mention the buffet breakfast. Massive. But why do they always make such shit coffee? Never figured that one out. Seems to be true the World over.

We swam, we walked and toured the old town and markets. Man Utd lost to Roma (first leg), the sunset was great, we watched a milonga (free tango lesson)in a local bar and i lost in the casino. Never book into hotels that have a casino in the basement.

Montevideo Day 2 - The Rambla

This coastal road goes on for miles. We managed a few before heat stoke and exhaustion took over, we spied a park and thought we'd walk through that, it turned out to be the posh golf club. Cutting behind it the apartment blocks were cunningly named "Golf Towers", "Fairways", "The Greens" etc. We had a bet mum plumped for The Palms and i went for Golf Heights. 50 metres later and Palmas del Golf it was. I was paying for lunch - ouch.

The backroads in Montevideo are beautiful. Wider than Bs As and tree-lined, a joy to walk around. Local markets, carteneros at work and gorgeous buildings. A wonderful walk. The fish followed and then a swim plus the Mighty Reds giving PSV a good thumping in the first leg. A perfect day.

Mercardo del Puerto

I think i'm going to be sick. Day 1 we did the fish bucket, day 2 death by meat. Thankfully we'd been swimming twice a day and walked at leat 8 miles, otherwise it could've been "wafer thin mint time".

Personally, i blame mother. She was definitely not pulling her weight, sensible maybe but seriously inconsiderate nonetheless.

Montevideo, Plaza Indepencia

I love this building. Reminds me of Flash Gordon, i'm sure Ming the Merciless is getting ready to blast off somewhere in the tower.

2nd of April - Day 1 Montevideo

Time for a mid-holiday getaway. We took a taxi to the airport, mum asked why it was so quiet on the streets, i asked the driver, he said it was the 25th Anniversary of Las Malvinas; he asked us where we were from and that was the end of that. We then talked about footie, i said i was a Boca fan - he was a River fan. I tipped him heavily to avoid a kicking.

We'd booked the Radisson in Montevideo, slap bang in the centre on Plaza Indepencia next to my favourite building. We were given a room on the 22nd floor with stunning views of the old town. Had a swim, the pool is fantastic, and then went for a walk. Although Montevideo is a capital, of at least a million people it is totally different to Bs As. Much more space, a lot less bustle, more greenery, and the Mercardo del Puerto - i still haven't found a better place to eat than this in my life.

The sunset from our room was stunning, the night views from the bar on the top floor also. An early night ensued - tomorrow we had an early start planned, alot of walking was going to be necessary before hitting the Mercardo.

March 26th -1st April - Walk till you drop

The next days were spent ambling over Belgrano, Palermo, Plaza Italia, the Ecological Reserve and the centre, far too much potential for window shopping in the latter. The weather was a bit ropey, but good for walking and when it chucked it down a good excuse for a cinema or museum visit.

The whole point of visiting a place is to try and experience it. You have to walk, sit in cafes and watch the world go by, eat out, eat in - thus utilising the local markets, try the subte, try the bus, the local train - basically try everything. I also learnt a great deal about plants and trees - too much at times :-).

Our days: breakfast, walk, lunch, walk, the odd purchase, buy our dinner and a couple of bottles of wine and retire to the flat to relax, chat, cook and drink.

However, you can't go to Buenos Aires and not go out at night. Friday night, Veronica and Fernando had invited us to their local Italian restaurant. Great place, the owner was suitably OTT and created a great atmosphere. We then adjourned to Plaza Serrano, at around 11.30pm, meeting point for all those on the pull before they head off to a club at 3ish. Loads of open air bars and street stalls that never shut. I'm ashamed to admit it but it wasn't my mother that caved in, by 12.30 i was literally falling asleep. I'm a lightweight and mum's hardcore - c'est la vie.

March 25th - Takes Two to Tango

San Telmo, huge market on Sunday's, tango in the streets, wonderful old colonial buildings and an extremely atmospheric restaurant - El Federal. My plan, walk for miles and hope exhaustion would give me a quiet night. Unfortunately, my mother is far too fit. All she seems to need is a bottle of wine in the evening to refuel.

Again, i'd opted for a tourist area, but it is definitely a tad different to Covent Garden. Gentle introductions are the way forward before risking the carnage of the centre, arriving on the weekend is also a good idea - much calmer (during the day!). She has immediately adapted to the strong coffee and media luna breakfast, followed by a stroll another strong coffee another stroll a long lunch and a gentle amble home.

The flat is amazingly quiet and a perfect place to glug the odd bottle of wine and just generally relax.

Mum arrives - 24th March

My days of lying on the couch, watching football were over. The eagle had landed and i was at the airport waiting. As usual i was way too early so whilst drinking endless coffee my mind wandered back to my first arrival here. Slightly different circumstances, it's definitely better being picked up by your son than wandering around the airport in a blind panic wondering what on earth is going on.

Safely esconced in our taxi, we were whisked through the suburbs to our flat in the centre, all the while mum pointing out things that whilst vastly different i now take for granted - this was definitely going to be fun. The flat got the seal of approval and after a cup of tea, shower and snack it was time for our first excursion.

Recoletta, famous for it's cemetery, antiques market and expensive boutiques this seemed a gentle introduction. A couple of hours ambling and an enormous baguette later mum was overwhelmed, too much input. Strolled back via the veg shops and local offie - all one needs for a light snack and an early night.