After a few days of rest and relaxation i quickly surmised the appauling truth. My parents had procreated purely to develop a secondary source of income. Every few days a new stranger would be invited around to stare at me, gifts would be bestowed on my parents and everyone would be all smiles. I, however, took exception to being the star of some twisted novelty act. Not only was i passed around these lunatics (a photo attached shows my true terror - only later did i learn she was my grandmother) i was not receiving my share of the gate receipts. The takings looked good, i phoned my agent - he didn't understand me. I mean how hard is it to comprehend that i wanted a one thousand pound retainer and ten pounds per person.
I had no option. I went on strike. I refused to crawl and later i refused to walk. I continued this practice for 18 months. Unfortunately, my protests fell on death ears. After 18 months i started hearing bits of conversation "why isn't he moving", "is he backward", "what's wrong with him", "my son walked at 9 months". I've never been so outraged. I got up and walked for the front door i wasn't about to be treated or defamed in this manner. I reached the door but i couldn't reach the handle, life can be so unjust. I quickly backed away, wouldn't want them to see my plan and it would be only another year, i calculated, before i could try again. 9 months passed, i waited. July arrived. Mother disappeared for a while. Father then left but returned later with mother and this thing. They told me his name was Thomas, he was born on the 23rd of July 1971. The lunatics reappeared and the gifts. I decided to stay, i told Tom this exploitation wouldn't last long and i would protect him. He thanked me, finally someone who understood me! I have loved him ever since.
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