After our failed attempt at space exploration Tom decided to tell mum the truth. He couldn't stand his school. Tom, as always, got his way and was sent to the same boarding school as me. We flew over to England together, mum and dad stayed at the "Ritz" (a very very grand hotel) and our aunt Hilary came and collected us. Tom started crying, his crying made Hilary cry, their crying made me cry - it was not a happy car ride.
Tom didn't like boarding school. He has known his mind from the age of 4 and has never understood why he should do something he doesn't want to do. He hatched a plan, he was helping in a play and saw a loose bit of scenery. He stood under it. It fell on his leg. He had to go to the Sanitarium ( kiddie hospital) for a month. He played with a "game and watch" (the earliest of handheld computer games) and ate sweets. He was happy. He pretended it was much worse than reality. I'm sure he stayed there for at least 2 weeks longer than necessary. Tom was never stupid.
Whilst this was going on i had set a new school record. I had turned into a very cheeky, sarcastic and impertinent young man. This led to me receiving 28 penal copies in a school term. What is a penal copy? A penal copy is a punishment issued by a teacher or senior pupil for a misdemeanour - anything serious led to detention (you had to stay behind in school - not much of a punishment if you are a boarder!). This punishment, which you had to pay 5p for (outrageous!) was a piece of paper with a bunch of words you had to copy out. Very boring and quite expensive 5p x 28 = 1.40 - alot of money back then. Unfortunately, i never learnt my lesson, i always felt (and still do) that if someone says something stupid a suitably sarcastic response highlighting their idiocy was necessary - hence lots and lots of penal copies.
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