Thomas's arrival stripped me of my star billing. I was happy with a period out of the limelight and could settle down to some serious sleeping. This period of rest gave me a chance for reflection on my journey so far. One incident kept cropping up: a weird man in a dodgy hat and dress trying to drown me. I'd blocked this episode out but now decided it required further investigation. Worryingly we would soon be returning to the large edifice where it occurred, a very cold, miserable place with truly terrible music.
I gathered my friends: Heather, Dan, Tom, Louise and my cousin Ben. We were all born within 6 months except Ben who is 11 months younger. Heather, Louise, Ben and Tom had also experienced this attempted murder. Dan on the otherhand had been attacked by a large, knife wielding, bearded man in a weird black get up and had his foreskin removed. Dan said this was normal if you were Jewish. We said he was stark raving bonkers to let any one near him and he should tell his brother Toby (just born) to run for it. The truth was out. This near drowning episode is in fact called a "christening".
I spent the next couple of week instructing Thomas on relaxation techniques, yoga and deep breathing exercises. Thankfully the effort paid off and the skirted sadist didn't manage to keep him underwater long enough. I believe Ben instructed Robert and Fred (his younger brothers - my cousins) similarly. A close escape for all. Thomas till this day is blissfully unaware how many times i saved his life in the early years but i like to think it helps him retain his innocence.
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